By Jonathan Klotz
| Published
Dwayne Johnson was once the king of blockbusters, able to turn seemingly any concept into a hit, but those days are behind him as the hierarchy of power in Hollywood has changed, and now his films are merely….okay. Black Adam, considered a massive flop, is, in retrospect, a solid hit, and time will be as kind to his latest film, Red One. The Christmas-themed action caper is now available on Amazon Prime, where it was always meant to be, after a disappointing box office run where it failed to recoup its budget, never mind the additional marketing costs, but the sad thing is, it’s really not even a bad movie.
The Cast Understood The Assignment
I went to the theater opening weekend to watch Red One with a friend of mine, intending to laugh at the film, and instead, through the sheer power of Johnson and Chris Evans, we ended up enjoying ourselves. It’s not that the film is a secret masterpiece or anything, but it does feature a swole Santa played by J.K. Simmons, Lucy Liu as the Nick Fury of the film, Kiernan Shipka chewing up the scenery, and Kristofer Hivju, who you’d recognize as Game of Thrones’ Torsmund Giantsbane, as Krampus in a scene-stealing performance. The sum isn’t greater than the parts, but everyone involved understood the assignment.
Red One kicks off with Chris Evans as Jack O’Malley, a hacker, a thief, a tracker, and an overall not-very-nice guy who literally steals candy from a baby. Dwayne Johnson is Callum Drift, a name that’s right up there with Max Power as far as “totally fake names that someone thought sounded cool” go, who happens to be the commander of ELF (Enforcement, Logistics, and Fortification), and is capable of one facial expression during the entire film. The two cross paths after Santa is kidnapped and Christmas is in danger of being canceled, which spurs M.O.R.A. (Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority) into action.
From Ironic Laughing To Rooting For Santa
The plot of Red One is incredibly predictable and simple, but it’s also kind of fun. No one is taking the film seriously, and that gives it an absurdist energy missing in most $250 million blockbusters, which, yes, is the budget for this film, and no, you can’t see it on screen because most of the special effects look like they came out of a SyFy original series. I will say that the evil snowmen do look better in the film than they did in the trailer, but what was kept hidden is Johnson shrinking and growing like Ant-Man during fight scenes, an effect that looks atrocious every time it occurs.
Despite its shortcomings, Red One is fun because it’s a throwback to the Christmas films of the 80s and 90s, which weren’t afraid to target a younger audience. Compared to some modern Christmas classics, such as the inexplicably popular Polar Express, it’s a breath of fresh air by at least attempting to do something a little different. It’s also fun watching Evans continue his post-Captain America career of playing scumbags.
Red One is now available on Amazon Prime, which is where it was always meant to be until the Writer’s Strike last year delayed its release, and Amazon decided to fill a hole in the movie schedule. I predict that now that it’s available for home viewing, this will become a cult classic Christmas movie. At first, it’ll be an ironic favorite, but over time, laughing at the film will end up slowly changing to laughing with the film’s dumb gags, and you’ll try to be cool and detached on the outside, but inside, you can’t wait to see swole Santa Claus all his glory. I know because it happened to me.
