Hailey Okula’s Husband Discusses Her Death, Memory: ‘She’s My Hero’

Nursing influencer Hailey Okula’s husband, Matthew Okula, is trying his best to turn his pain into purpose.

Earlier this week, the Los Angeles Fire Department engineer’s life was turned upside down when his wife died from an amniotic fluid embolism (AFE) after giving birth to their first child, son Crew. She was 33.

“Hailey was more than I could have ever dreamed of in a wife and partner,”  Matthew wrote via Instagram on Tuesday, April 1, when confirming his wife’s passing. “She was gorgeous, smart, hardworking, passionate, trustworthy and above all else, unbelievably loyal.”

While Matthew processes the sudden loss, the firefighter is remembering his wife’s greatest attributes while also speaking out about AFE in hopes of bringing awareness, funding and research.

Through tears, he spoke to Us Weekly on Friday, April 4, for an emotional and honest interview to talk about Hailey’s life, her tragic and untimely death, their love story, fertility journey, Crew’s first days and more.

Support the Okulas by also visiting the family’s GoFundMe.

Hailey’s story has resonated with so many people. What is your reaction to the outpouring of support since she passed and since your son was born?

I feel like I’m almost like… two different bodies. The part of me that’s grieving unbelievably is always there and it hasn’t lightened. It’s more than I can even express — no words could even say how empty my life feels right now. And it’s hard because it’s not making that part better, but another part of me is overwhelmed with how much support is flooding in.

I’ve been thinking about so many things. I’ve been a fireman for over 10 years. People who know the fire service know it’s so big, but also so small. Firemen have each other’s backs, and there’s always support. I have so many brothers and sisters on the job who would be there for me for anything. Hailey has been a part of the fire family for 10 years, and I’ve always known that was there.

I can’t even keep up with a fraction of the emails and messages I’m getting — from firemen and their spouses from different states — offering condolences and support.

I never imagined the nursing community was that tight. Hailey [had] such a trusted following of so many people — it’s unbelievable. I like to think that I’m a pretty special person, but I know that this wouldn’t have been national news if not for her. That’s just how special and impactful she was.

The nursing community is stepping up so much. It’s Hailey’s footprint that’s making all of this happen. I had a rough morning today and I just thought “she’s still making things happen even when she’s not physically here. She’s getting people to support me and Crew so I can figure things out.”

She helped millions of people as an educator. Her nursing community is buying her products, sending messages, praying, donating. The support is overwhelming.

Hailey would love to see her business thriving like this. She worked so hard. Seeing it flourish — and knowing people are learning about who she was — brings me joy.

Her spirit seems to still be here in how you’re experiencing everything.

Yeah, I’m a spiritual guy, but I’ve never really believed in seeing signs or things like that. But I prayed hard for signs that Hailey was watching over me, and every day something happens. Even this interview alone. I’m sitting in her office now, looking around at everything she built. She was a go-getter, and that drive is living on. She’s continuing to make sure me and Crew are going to be okay in these unprecedented times.

What do you think that says about her?

I have so many words, and I don’t know how to describe it in a sentence. She loved nursing. She loved being an entrepreneur. She loved helping others — the nursing community, my family, everyone. She loved giving back.

She wanted to make a difference for new nurses. A lot of times new grads get bullied by older nurses, and Hailey was adamant about fostering a healthy environment. She stood up for new grads, even if it meant calling people out on her platform of a million followers. That’s how loyal she was.

She started this business to help nurses find jobs. When she was looking, she’d click links and get nowhere. It was exhausting and frustrating. So she started an Instagram page, spent her whole day filtering links, and posted verified job listings for new grads. It removed a burden from them. Her giving spirit created a business that grew and grew. We dreamed of that business letting us spend more time with Crew and build our life together.

She loved helping people.

Exactly. More than anything. I want to say how much of an impact she had — especially sharing our fertility journey. It was a big deal for her to open up about that. She wanted her followers to connect with her and feel less alone. A lot of nurses are trying to start families too, and she knew her story could reassure them.

We talked about sharing it. I was hesitant and wanted to keep it private. But the next morning, I saw a huge post about it on Instagram. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t surprised. That’s just Hailey.

We were flooded with messages from people thanking her for sharing. It helped so many. Even at work, in a firehouse where that stuff isn’t usually discussed, guys started opening up about their own struggles. She made an impact far beyond nursing.

Can you tell me about your and Hailey’s journey to parenthood?

We got married on September 16, 2022. We were both really healthy people — she was a Division I athlete, and I’m a fireman. We love working out and taking care of ourselves, so we didn’t expect any trouble trying to have a baby. We just wanted everything lined up perfectly first.

We started trying right after the wedding. A few months in, nothing happened. That’s normal, we thought. But after eight months, we started to wonder. We both got tested. She had something minor that might make it a little harder, but nothing that should’ve stopped us from getting pregnant.

I did a full semen analysis — just trying to be supportive — and it came back that while I had plenty, the activity and shape of the sperm were really poor. I broke down. I crumbled. I felt like it all fell on me.

That’s such a heavy burden.

Yeah, and I knew the road ahead would be hard, but I also knew it would be so much harder for her. I apologized to her, and she didn’t even cry. She just grabbed me and said, “We’re a team. We’ll get through this together.”

We decided to go forward with IVF. It was hard financially, but we were all in.

Out of six embryos, one had Down syndrome, two had PKU [a rare inherited disorder also known as Phenylketonuria], one had a chromosome issue that would likely lead to miscarriage. That left us with two healthy embryos — a boy and a girl.

We decided on the boy first. We wanted Crew to be the big brother. The girl, Oakley Ann, was meant to be our next baby.

She would’ve been an exceptional mom.

She would’ve been such a good mom. We had so many plans — trips, activities, dreams for Crew. She was so excited. After everything we went through, it made the moment that much more meaningful.

Tell us about the moment Crew was born.

She was 41 weeks, so we had to induce. We planned a vaginal birth, but after a long labor, he wasn’t dropping, and we decided on a C-section. We went into the OR on Saturday morning. I was by her head, holding her hand, telling her how proud I was.

We heard him cry. A tear rolled down her face. They held him up over the sheet and she said, “Oh s***, he’s big.” Everyone who knew her knew she’d say something like that.

They brought him to the incubator. I didn’t want to leave her, but I went over and cut the cord. They told me to go with Crew to the next room, and she’d be there shortly. I held her hand and told her he was beautiful, then went with the baby.

You wanted her to hold him first?

Yes. She deserved that. We deserved that family moment. I was waiting in the room, and then the doctor came in and said her oxygen had dropped. Then [the doctor] came back shortly after and said her heart stopped — they were doing CPR.

I ran to the ICU. They had gotten her pulse back, but then she coded again. I stood at the foot of her bed for an hour, holding her foot, praying, talking to her, begging her to fight. They tried everything. But they couldn’t get her back.

She had an amniotic fluid embolism. It’s incredibly rare and devastating. Her OBGYN said they were doing everything they could, but it just took over.

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. She was so healthy, everything had gone well, and then suddenly she was gone.

Even in the ICU with every specialist — cardiologists, pulmonologists — no one could save her. It was just so fast, and her body was hit with everything at once: heart failure, lung failure, internal bleeding. There’s no treatment protocol for this. It’s just rolling with each complication as it comes and trying to keep the patient alive.

You’re hoping her story brings awareness and possibly funding and research.

Exactly. That would bring so much joy — knowing she’s making a difference even now. We’re speaking with Miranda, the founder of the Amniotic Fluid Embolism Foundation. So many people are now asking about it. Hailey would want this awareness to help save lives.

Hailey is reminding me to keep going, to raise Crew the way we talked about. We were dealt a hand that seems so unfair, but I know what she’d want. I’m going to be an amazing dad for Crew.

Are you already telling him stories about his mom?

I talk to him about her constantly. I want him to know how amazing she was — how much she’s still doing for us. He’s going to hear about her all the time. I show him her nursing skits, her gymnastics videos. She wasn’t just a brilliant entrepreneur — she was a Division I gymnast, an amazing wife, sister, daughter, and friend. She impacted so many people.

Do you look at Crew as your miracle baby?

Absolutely. Our families are amazing, but the bond between me and Crew — that’s the connection I have with her now.

Do you feel her presence?

I do. I never used to believe in signs, but I’ve been praying for them — clear signs that she’s here. And she’s showing up. The nursing community, the support, the donations — she’s still making things happen.

This morning, I sat in my car, not able to move. I was waiting for Hailey’s friend to come over. Then I heard her voice — clear as day — calling to our dog Brody just like she used to. It snapped me out of it. I got out of the car, expecting her. But no one was there. That was her.

She knew you needed help in that moment. That’s beautiful.

Yeah, I just need those signs to keep coming.

You’re an engineer with the Los Angeles Fire Department — you save lives. So did Hailey. In your own life, she’s clearly your hero. Is that how you see her?

Absolutely. That doesn’t even begin to describe it. She’s my hero in every way. As a wife, a partner, a friend. We had such a beautiful relationship. We’d been through so much, but we always got through it. And now, after everything, she’s even more magnified in my heart.

Will there be a memorial for people to celebrate her?

Yes. We’re doing a public candlelight vigil on Saturday, April 26, at 6:30 p.m. in Huntington Beach, California. We’ll use Sea Lake as a general meeting point. We want to show the love and support she inspired. We’ll also have a private service for family and close friends later.