Natalie Joy sat down with husband Nick Viall to record a vulnerable and raw podcast episode while “actively miscarrying” their second baby.
“It has been the biggest heartbreak, I think, of my life,” Joy, 26, said during the Wednesday, January 29, episode of “The Viall Files” podcast. “I’ve never experienced something where I feel so empty inside.”
Joy broke down in tears several times while telling the story, even revealing that she feels “dead inside” following the loss.
“I was spot bleeding for a while,” Joy recalled, noting that she was “freaked” out by the blood as it wasn’t something that occurred during her previous pregnancy. (Viall and Joy welcomed daughter River in February 2024.)
“I think I knew from the jump, but I didn’t want to accept that. Then, it just got heavier and heavier,” she continued. “It was like I gave birth, you know, it was like I did, essentially. And I was screaming and crying, and Nick ran into the bathroom.”
Viall, 44, just “held” Joy following the experience. Eventually, he was able to “retrieve” the remains.
“That was definitely the hardest night of my life,” Joy continued. “Just experiencing that is, like, something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. And unfortunately, I know a lot of women do experience it. I just feel for these people so much because I was so mad at my body for letting it go.”
Joy shared some of the conversation she had with her doctor, which she said has opened the door to healing.
“Our doctor [was] able to say it was unviable, it wasn’t going to live outside of your body. It gives you some hope … if you focus on the scientific part, I think that’s what gets you through it,” she said. “Which is incredibly hard to do, because as the mom, you feel everything. From the second that it was a positive pregnancy test, I felt that baby inside of me. Up until I lost it, it’s so real.”
Joy noted that she’s “still bleeding” every time she uses the restroom.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go into our bathroom and not feel that feeling,” she said.
Elsewhere in the episode, Joy explained her decision to discuss the miscarriage on their podcast.
“It’s going to take a long time to heal from this, but it is raw and we’re feeling it right now,” she explained. “I think that’s why I wanted to do this now because I want to show people and I want to [tell] the mothers who have felt this same feeling, ‘Yeah, you’re not alone.’ …My body feels so empty. I just also don’t want to forget this baby. I don’t want time to go on, and for this baby to have just been, like, a blip in our lives.”